He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
