my shit smells like andre
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
