remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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