Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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