god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
