He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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