out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
