i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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