if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
