make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
