talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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