My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
