I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
