we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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