I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
