An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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