Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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