I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
