piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
