We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
