I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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