U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
