I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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