I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
