Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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