filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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