He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
420 ftw
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
