let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
