I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
