yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
