dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
