i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
