I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
