STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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