how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Last time i carry you out of a forest
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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