porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
