Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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