Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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