life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
