i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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