My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Someone came in the potted fern
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
