I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
