Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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