i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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