He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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