Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
