My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
