So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
