Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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