No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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