We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
