I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
