youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
