It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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