i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
