can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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