??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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