hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
