I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
a search helicopter?!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
