I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
